


Loud.

by Esca



Category: Naruto
Genre: Established Relationship, Hidan has a filthy mouth, M/M, Marijuana, One-Shot, PWP, This is Nothing But Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 07:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esca/pseuds/Esca
Summary: Hidan can't roll a j worth shit.Hidan/DeidaraOne-shot PWPMarijuana Use





	Loud.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Don’t mind me, I’m just a cheeba-fiend writing about my guilty Akatsuki pleasure pair smoking that loud and doing the do. ~(˘▾˘~)

\------------------------------------

Loud.

\------------------------------------

When he’d went into the Red Dawn Smoke Shop, all Hidan had really wanted was advice on rolling the perfect j. Not that he would have worded it like that, of course... in a smoke shop, you had to be more eloquent. No mention of any illegal substances whatsoever, because this was Texas, and the great southern state was probably at least a good ten to twenty years away from full legalization.

It was just a motherfucking plant. A motherfucking _wonderful, beautiful_ plant. 

He’d looked at all the crazy contraptions the store had to offer. Dab rigs with titanium bangers, vapes with ceramic coils, bubblers with honeycomb percs... this shop was fully-loaded with whatever smoking device you could think of. But all he really wanted was some rolling papers. 

Hidan liked a challenge. Any idiot could puff-puff-pass out of a bong. It took a real connoisseur to roll the perfect j, and he was anything if not a connoisseur of cannabis. 

That little trip to the smoke shop that particular day was how he had ended up with a boyfriend. That was five months ago. And he still couldn’t roll. 

It wasn’t exactly his intended purpose, coming in that day, but he really wasn’t complaining about the outcome. How could he? The blond that had been running the counter was hot as fuck. And Deidara knew his shit. Eloquently worded, of course. 

The best part was, he could roll like no other. Blunts, wraps, joints, you name it. They were perfect every time. And he always knew where to get the good shit. He had a regular dealer on tap who consistently provided him with primo quality flower, buttery wax, or delicious vape cartridges whenever he hit him up. Sometimes Zetsu would even have edibles on deck that his roommate, Tobi would make. 

The idiot could make a mean pan of brownies.

“You’re doing it wrong again, babe. Tuck, then fold...”

Hidan watched transfixed mid-roll as Deidara ripped a huge, fat dab out of a quartz banger, clearing all the smoke in one inhalation and holding it in his lungs and exhaling the brilliant white clouds. 

“That’s sexy as fuck.”

The blond smirked and set the small rig down on the coffee table alongside the torch and oversized container of shatter. 

Another attractive thing about Deidara?

He always bought in bulk. 

“Give it here, I’ll roll it for you.” 

The silver-haired male did as he was told and watched with a satisfied look as Deidara shifted the bud in the 24-karat gold wrap and folded and tucked it appropriately, licking it and sealing it, twisting the top and presenting it to his significant other. “All done.”

“Fuck, how did I get so lucky to land you? You’re near close to perfect... if I could just get you to convert I’d fucking marry you.”

“Gaaaaay...” Deidara snorted with a wave of his hand, passing over the plain bic lighter that had hemp wick wrapped around it. 

“Only for you, Duchess.”

“You only love me for my weed.”

“I mean, there _is_ that...” Hidan crowed with laughter when Deidara grabbed a half-pound brick of hermetically sealed Alaska Thunderfuck that was being used as a makeshift pillow on their sofa and lobbed it at his head. “Easy there, babe! I was just fucking with you.”

“Speaking of fucking with me, you wanna tap this, hm?”

“Lemme smoke this bad boy first, and then hell yeah I’ll fuck you,” Hidan sparked the end of the hemp wick and puffed on his joint to light it, before taking a deep hit into his lungs and holding it.

“Good stuff, huh?” Deidara ignited the torch and held it for about five seconds on each side of the quartz banger of his dab rig, heating it up evenly. Cutting the flame, he scooped up a healthy amount of wax from the jar with a dabbing tool and held it to the heated side, ripping another fat dab.

“Duchess you’re gonna get super fucked up if you keep on doing that.”

“I fucking hope so, hmm,” the blond wiggled his brows and leaned over closer to Hidan, grabbing him by the chin and kissing him hotly, coaxing his mouth open with his pierced tongue and exhaling dab smoke into the other man’s lungs. 

“Fuuuuuck...” 

Still holding the smoke from Deidara’s shotgun in his lungs, he took another hit off the gold-wrapped joint, enjoying the masochistic burning sensation in his throat. He groaned audibly as he breathed out everything he’d been holding in. 

Damn. 

He glanced down at his erection tenting his jeans. He always got hard whenever Deidara would shotgun him, without fail. The other man had noticed it too, evidenced by the lustful way teal eyes were staring at him. 

“Why don’t you snuff that out and let me suck your cock for you, hm? I’ll roll you a new one later.”

Putting out the joint in the nearby ashtray, Hidan reclined against the actual pillows on the sofa and unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans, fishing his cock out and stroking it to full hardness. The blond male hovered over him and leaned down, engulfing the head of his dick and sucking the tip eagerly, tongue swirling around languidly. 

“Fuck... yeah, use that tongue, Duchess. I fucking love your mouth.”

Though he had cotton mouth, Deidara spit into his palm and used the slickness to jack Hidan off at the base as he resumed sucking him off with fervor, the barbell in his tongue drawing out long groans and curses as he flicked it along the turgid length in his mouth. 

“C’mon, baby. If you’re gonna suck cock, _suck cock.”_

Deidara moaned as a hand was fisted in his long blond locks, Hidan pulling hard enough to cause a little bit of pain, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Rather, it spurned him on further, and he began bobbing his head furiously, hollowing his cheeks and moving his hand out of the way so he could deep-throat him. When he felt the other press against the back of his throat, he paused in his ministrations, and then shook his head back and forth wildly, the motion eliciting a loud growl from Hidan and an even tighter grip on his hair. 

“I’m gonna fucking wreck you, you fucking tease,” the silver-haired male promised, using his hold on the blond’s locks to hold his head in place as he jackhammered his hips. 

Deidara sputtered and choked around Hidan’s cock as he filled his mouth and throat, but he kept on sucking, eyes clenched shut in concentration. 

“You love being choked on this dick, don’t you, pretty?”

The younger opened one teal eye and smiled coyly, resuming the ebb and flow of his treatment to the hard organ stretching his jaw. Hidan bit down on his bottom lip; that look always drove him crazy. Feeling around in the couch cushions, he let out an ‘aha’ noise as he found the bottle of CBD infused lubricant the couple favored. “Turn over and take those fucking clothes off, cock slut.”

Giving a particularly hard suck and swirl of his tongue to the tip, Deidara withdrew and unbuttoned and unzipped his tight-fitting jeans, wearing no underwear underneath. Once he’d divested himself of his pants, he took off his shirt, both articles of clothes flying over the top of the sofa and landing with a resounding noise onto the hardwood floor of their shared apartment. He flipped over and got on his hands and knees, letting out a noise as Hidan slapped his ass cheek openly. 

“Out of all the holes I’ve fucked, yours is my favorite,” he crooned as he slicked up his fingers with lube and inserted one til it was swallowed at the knuckle. “And I’ve fucked a lot of holes, Duchess.”

“That’s because you’re an unsavory charlatan, hmm.”

“For this hot piece of ass in front of me? Fuck yes I am,” Hidan pushed a second finger inside the blond’s ass, scissoring them widely. “You hungry for this cock?”

Deidara moaned loudly as the other man angled his fingers, rubbing up against the spot inside of him that made his vision go white. “Ffffuuuuck. Come on, babe, put it in me,” he wiggled his ass impatiently for good measure, groaning as he was answered with another open-palmed slap. 

“I love this fat ass that jiggles for _minutes_ after I smack it. Fucking perfect.” 

Slicking up his cock, Hidan angled himself at the blond’s entrance, groaning unabashedly as he slid in, fully seating himself in one thrust. Grabbing a handful of long hair, he began moving in a punishing rhythm, not giving the younger time to adjust. Deidara was a sport, he could take a pounding anyways.

“Fuuuuck... H-Hidan...” Deidara’s back bowed as he was fucked hard and fast. He buried his face in a throw pillow and moaned loudly, feeling his eyes water. 

“That’s right, say my name, baby. Who’s your Daddy? Who feeds your hungry little slut hole so good?”

“Fuuuuckfuckfuckfuck...! You do...!”

“Damn right I do.”

Hidan grinned and flipped Deidara over fluidly, positioning the other’s legs on his shoulders and sliding back in. “Look at how you swallow my cock so nicely. You really wanted this dick bad, didn’t you?”

Deidara moaned, tossing his head back as Hidan hit his prostate over and over again ruthlessly. He raked his nails down the other’s forearms and biceps, leaving lacerations that made the violet-eyed male growl in pleasure at the stinging pain.

His senses were overwhelmed with euphoria. He was so high he couldn’t even form a single cognizant thought, all he could do was focus on the sensations wracking his body and leaving him breathless. Hidan was no better off--the whites of his eyes were visibly reddened, and his thrusts were erratic and frenzied. 

“Fuck, you got me high as shit off that dab, Duchess. I feel like I could go for _hours.”_

The blond opened his teal eyes and blanched, making Hidan laugh heartily. “I’m just kidding, don’t have such a face... But I’m nowhere near done yet.”

Ten minutes passed, slowly creeping into twenty, then thirty. Hidan showed no signs of stopping. 

Grabbing his silver strands roughly and pulling so hard that he tilted the other’s head back, Deidara growled lowly in his throat and gave him an impatient glare. “Hurry the _fuck_ up and fill me, bastard, hmm!”

“You want this cum, baby? Huh?” 

“YES.”

“Oh, you’re gonna fucking get it. Gonna fucking fill that fat ass so good... fuck... _fuck... FUCK...!”_

Hidan clenched his eyes shut and his jaw went slack as Deidara tightened his inner walls around him, milking from him an intense orgasm that made his reddened eyes slip back into his skull. He continued thrusting, shooting his load deep on the blond’s ass, the sensation of being filled sending Deidara over the edge as well with a hoarse shout, his back arching into a perfect, sensual arc. 

Panting heavily, Hidan grasped Deidara by the chin as he slowly starting coming down, kissing him possessively. Deidara returned it heatedly, their tongues mingling and fighting the other for dominance. Slipping his softening cock out of the blond’s pliant body, Hidan gathered him up in his lap and continued kissing him hotly, the haze clouding his mind still prevalent.

“Fuck... you’re way too good at that...” Deidara rasped out finally, planting another kiss to Hidan’s lips.

“Go start the water? I’m gonna smoke and I’ll be in in a minute, Duchess.”

“Don’t take too long.”

Deidara got up from his lap, and Hidan grinned as he saw his cum dribble from the other’s well-fucked hole and down the insides of his thighs. “Told you I was gonna wreck that ass,” he focused his attentions forward and grasped the joint he had snuffed out, unrolling it and getting a new paper. He spread out the unsmoked flower in the wrap and added a few more pinches. 

_‘...Tuck, then roll. You’ve watched him do it a thousand times...’_

Repeating the motions he’d seen the blond do numerous times, Hidan let out an ungodly noise as he successfully rolled and tucked the joint, none spilling out from the ends. He licked it and sealed it and held it up triumphantly. 

“Oh _fuck yes.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna go light a bowl now. ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴


End file.
